Like parents, like son

It's already too late. My son has picked up on one of our terrible traits--he's a night owl just like we are.

Oh, well. And I was so hoping that he' d just love to go to bed early and then get up before mom and pop to fix us a lovely breakfast in bed someday. Fat chance. I can barely get him to bed before 10pm and he' s only 9 months old! Well, I suppose it does have something to do with the time change from Cabo, since there he used to go to bed at the early hour of 9 pm, which translates to 10pm here. It could be all the alluring new things to explore at grammy and grandad's house. It could be that he's still taking a morning and an afternoon nap. Or it could be that I got lazy upon arrival and haven't been following his nighttime routine like I was back in Cabo. Or maybe it' s because I hardly "wear" him anymore. In cabo I used to wear Oliver in a baby sling at least twice a day as I walked around town. It really worked to wear the tot out so to speak. Or it could be just another new baby phase, but I still have the itching feeling it may just be his nature.

Longing for a rocking chair...

The other day, I read on my friend Steph's blog about the luxury purchase she's longing for and then yesterday sat upon the very luxury item I would love to own... a rocking chair. Preferably a comfortable cushiony one, not the typical hard wooden type. It was just yesterday that I was won over by the idea when I stopped in at my friend Zeina's house and plopped down on her comfy, leather rocking easychair. It happened to be the perfect seat to rock Oliver back to sleep after he woke up in his stroller to find he was in a strange house. The easy chair, comfortable as it was, was a bit big for me. I certainly don't want an over-sized rocker, although I wouldn't mind having a super big rocker like this one someday. For now, I'd just like a small, comfortable one, maybe something like this even though it is a bit cheesy-looking.

Some Oliver highlights...

I was just thinking over our Kansas stay so far and here are a few Oliver highlights:

• An emotionally intelligent little boy--The second Sunday we were here, we went to my parents' church. When we left Oliver at the nursery before the church service, a few of the toddler age kids were crying what were obviously tears of "I want my mommy." As I left, Oliver whimpered a bit and I asked him "Now you're not going to cry too, are you?" Well, as it turns out, when we got back the nursery crew told us that Oliver was a "sympathy crier." He cried for a bit until the other kids stopped crying and then was perfectly happy playing with the nursery toys.
• Mexicano at heart--A couple of days ago when my older sister was here visiting, we went to lunch at Chelsea and found out that Oliver was a true Mexican at heart. When he grabbed for a lime on the table he started stuck it in his mouth, made some funny faces and then kept on sucking! A true Mexicano. Yesterday, by the way, he enjoyed a very Mexicano meal...Avocado and frijoles.
• Avocado pacifier--Tonight was a gorgeous Kansas night, just 78 degrees after a scorching record high yesterday of 108--the kind of night to celebrate by eating outside. So my folks, Oliver and I rode over to Il Vicino's in my dad's zippy new convertible without a carseat. (Don't turn me in please! It was only for a few blocks.) It was Oliver's first ride in a Porsche! Outside on Il Vicino's patio while enjoying wood fired-pizzas, a couple at the next table leaned over to ask me what sort of pacifier Oliver was using. "Well, an avocado pacifier, of course!" No, that' s not really what I told them. But maybe it would have been funny. What I actually told them was the truth about his self-feeder that was loaded with yummy avocado keeping Oliver satisfied and busy.

Save Lebanese Civilians

Please sign this petition for the Lebanese civilians under attack by Israel.

I am so glad that my friend Steph put this petition on her blog. (So I am copying it here too.) It was just the other night at dinner that I learned from Zeina, our Lebanese friend, about the attack on Lebanon by Israel. As you can read on Steph's blog too, Zeina's mother and other family members are in Lebanon and are unable to get out. Please pray for Zeina and her family and for all the innocent people that have been wounded and killed thus far. And please, please pray for an end to this war.

french fries, snot suckers & pool photos

Here are the latest happenings in the land of the grandparents...

Friday night Oliver, my folks and I went to the Center for the Arts student artwork exhibit, mostly to see my aunt Jan's paintings and of course for the free wine and socializing. Luckily, I ran into my friend Zeina and her hubby Terry who invited me out to dinner with them and the couple they were with. Yahoo! A social outing with adults my age! My parents graciously agreed to babysit Oliver while they wined and dined at a different eatery... little did I know about what was to transpire that evening. It wasn't until the next day that I found the evidence that they obviously weren't trying hard to hide--french fries in Oliver's playpen! Had they really been feeding french fries to my wee 9 month old darling who only recently started eating his solids? Well, to be honest I was annoyed but not overly so because I know my parents too well. I was sure that they did it mostly for shock value. When I confronted them, they chuckled and assured me that he had spit the incriminating french fries out. Good on ya Oli.

The other unfortunate news is that Oliver has been a wee bit sick lately. Just a mild cold, but one that necessitates the evil snot sucker. Even though Oliver cries as if being tortured with an inhumane toturing device, I am thankful for whoever invited this most useful baby tool. Without it, my poor little stuffed up baby would have an awfully hard time breastfeeding off to sleep. The good news is that despite the french fries and the snot sucker, Oliver is a very happy 9 month old baby! Here are a few photos from his 9 month old birthday in the pool...


fun with grandad

watching grandad blow bubbles

chasing after the enticing pool net

mothering update

Recently I wrote a post on modern motherhood and how I've been feeling burned out as a mother. So I thought I'd update you all on how I'm doing since arriving in Kansas...

When I first arrived my parents kept me more than busy with a trolley tour, then friends for dinner that I ended up cooking for, church and lunch with my grandmother, I skipped out, however, on the fourth of July party much to mother's disappointment, and then a birthday dinner for my mom on the fifth. Finally, I got to take a breath and relax on the 6th. And that' s when things really got good on the mothering front. That day we drove to the other side of town to the DMV to get my Kansas driver license. Since my mom thought that I may need to take the test after living out of the country for so long, she had me drive on the way there.

Oliver is a wonderful baby, but I fathom that like most babies in the active/exploring stage, he doesn' t really like being strapped down in his car seat. Before our journey I breastfed him so that I knew he wasn't hungry, and my mom even sat in the back seat to entertain him, but it wasn' t long at all before he was howling to get out of that seat. As I've written earlier, I follow the attachment parenting model of responding quickly to your child's cries. And, anyhow, any mom, you can relate to how hard it is to just let your wee one scream at the top of his lungs, as Oliver was doing at that point. But I knew my mom was there to comfort him, and I knew he wasn't hungry so I kept driving even though everything inside me was wanting to pull over and hold him. Thank goodness I didn't, because soon after my near pull-over when we started talking and ignoring him, he finally fell asleep.

You're probably thinking, so that was your big story? Well, it may not sound like a big deal, but for me, letting Oliver cry for change without feeling like I was going to damage him for life, was an important hump for me to get over. Hopefully, it won't be necessary for him to "cry it out" often, but at least I know that he can cry himself to sleep just in case...

Other exciting new developments for me are having a willing babysitter--my mom, and a new, extemely efficient Avent breast pump. (Thanks Suze for the pump recommendation, but I went ahead and splurged for the Avent pump.) Now that our schedule is no longer jam-packed with events, my mom has been awesome about taking care of Oliver when I need a rest or want to do something. I've come to the conclusion that my mom is the perfect person to help me out as I'm dealing for the first time with the wonderful but overwhelmingly full-time job of mothering an infant because she understands exactly what I'm going through and is perceptive and thoughtful enough to offer to look after Oliver (many times)before I even ask. I've also come to realize, sadly, that like so many women, it's hard for me to ask for help even when I'm worn-out because I've got this deeply embedded idea in my head that in order to be a "good woman" (mom, wife, etc.) I should be able to do it all on my own. Why is it so damn hard to ask for a little help? Anyone have the same problem?

Other good news is that Oliver is an incredibly happy baby here. My parents' house is so big compared to our small apartment, that it will take a very good while for him to run out of new, exciting things. By now he's crawling all over the house, even in the non-carpeted areas. Some highlights for him are the petting my folks' dog Simon, sticking his hand in the backyard fountain, opening the cabinets (it's time for more baby-proofing!), and of course, sticking everything in his mouth. Yesterday he turned 9 months, and we celebrated by swimming in the pool in his new inflatable boat. He loved it! I'll try to post some pictures tomorrow...

It takes a tribe to raise a child...

Today I was pleasantly surprised at what I read on mothering from my copy of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom stored at my parents' from my college days. Those of you who have been reading along know that I have been feeling overworked lately by the task of mothering, so you might be able to imagine how I felt when I turned to the section, titled "Mothering in the Addictive System: The Hardest Job in the World." Yep, that' s what it feels like lately...but also the most rewarding.

What she had to say on mothering really hit home with me. I wish I had time to transcribe it all here, but I'll have to just sum up the highlights for those of you who don't have your own copy. First she talks about two kinds of mothers--Earth mothers and Creative Rainbow mothers. Earth mothers, the kind of mother that society rewards as a "good mother", nurture their children and feed them. Creative Rainbow mothers, on the other hand, inspire their children without necessarily having meals on the table on time. The author, Chistaine Northstrup--an MD and writer, admits to being the latter and also sounds as if she's an introvert. Like me. hmm.

What I really found interesting, however, was what she had to say about mothers of young children. Basically, she writes that raising young kids is an extremely demanding job and that sometimes a mom needs some free time, space and sleep. Man, that sounds familiar. She goes on to write that she once told another woman that the optimal adult-child ratio was 3 adults to 1 child. The woman she told that to then related to her that in the aboriginal culture of Australia, the mother's sisters--the child's aunts--are all considered the child's mothers. So if you ask a child who her mother is she will point not only to her biological mother but also to all of her aunts. Same with the father. An aboriginal mother can more easily go off to do her own thing when she needs to knowing that her child always has a place in the tribe and is not solely dependent on her.

Wow, that sounds so progressive to me! Imagine, if western mothers had such a luxury! To be able to pursue your own interests and have some rest and free time and know that somebody would be there for your children. What would it be like to know that someone who felt the same love and responsibility for our child would be there to care for him if we had to work late or run an errand, etc? As the author puts it, "What if we lived in a society in which a woman didn't have to choose between her needs, those of her job, and those of her family?"

I know I'm in Kansas when...

• more than a handful of people offer to help me tote my baby stuff from the airplane.
• almost all of the women I meet are blondes.
• total strangers wave to me from their cars.
• walking in order to get somewhere is considered strange.
• walking carrying a baby in a baby sling gets people to stop and offer me a ride.
• the humidity and sound of locusts is fondly familiar.
• I can recognize my favorite bird songs from childhood.
• every house on the block brings back a childhood memory.
• I start to feel like I'm finally at home.