It takes a tribe to raise a child...

Today I was pleasantly surprised at what I read on mothering from my copy of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom stored at my parents' from my college days. Those of you who have been reading along know that I have been feeling overworked lately by the task of mothering, so you might be able to imagine how I felt when I turned to the section, titled "Mothering in the Addictive System: The Hardest Job in the World." Yep, that' s what it feels like lately...but also the most rewarding.

What she had to say on mothering really hit home with me. I wish I had time to transcribe it all here, but I'll have to just sum up the highlights for those of you who don't have your own copy. First she talks about two kinds of mothers--Earth mothers and Creative Rainbow mothers. Earth mothers, the kind of mother that society rewards as a "good mother", nurture their children and feed them. Creative Rainbow mothers, on the other hand, inspire their children without necessarily having meals on the table on time. The author, Chistaine Northstrup--an MD and writer, admits to being the latter and also sounds as if she's an introvert. Like me. hmm.

What I really found interesting, however, was what she had to say about mothers of young children. Basically, she writes that raising young kids is an extremely demanding job and that sometimes a mom needs some free time, space and sleep. Man, that sounds familiar. She goes on to write that she once told another woman that the optimal adult-child ratio was 3 adults to 1 child. The woman she told that to then related to her that in the aboriginal culture of Australia, the mother's sisters--the child's aunts--are all considered the child's mothers. So if you ask a child who her mother is she will point not only to her biological mother but also to all of her aunts. Same with the father. An aboriginal mother can more easily go off to do her own thing when she needs to knowing that her child always has a place in the tribe and is not solely dependent on her.

Wow, that sounds so progressive to me! Imagine, if western mothers had such a luxury! To be able to pursue your own interests and have some rest and free time and know that somebody would be there for your children. What would it be like to know that someone who felt the same love and responsibility for our child would be there to care for him if we had to work late or run an errand, etc? As the author puts it, "What if we lived in a society in which a woman didn't have to choose between her needs, those of her job, and those of her family?"